Thursday, October 15, 2009

A Little History

Even at the age of 36, my mother has the ability to embarrass me like no other. She reads the books I am reading to learn more about me, calls my phone without leaving messages at least once a day, tells stories about me to complete strangers and constantly comments on my Facebook postings (even though I have asked her to refrain). As much as she gets on my nerves, I know in the bottom of my heart it is because she loves me and for that I am truly lucky. She can be a bit over the top in her expressions of love, but I have come to realize it is not a bad thing. Not really. The upside is that no matter how down I feel I know I can call my Mom and she is there to tell me how fantastic I am just for being her daughter. She works hard at being a good Mom and as one of her daughters I can say she is successful and has provided me great memories.

One of my favorite memories of my Mother was the time she spent with my sister, Ninny (my name for her, as well as, for the purposes of this blog), and me singing when we were young. We sang in the car everyday on the 30 minute drive to work/school in the morning and 30 minutes on the way home in the afternoon 5 days a week. We had duets where she sang certain parts of the song and cued us when it was our turn. However, my favorite time of the week would be when she would get out her guitar and sing to us. The songs consisted of mainly The Beatles, Simon and Garfunkel and Peter, Paul and Mary songs. The song “Too Much of Nothing” by Peter, Paul and Mary was a song that always made the song list for our mini shows and we sang along happily with her. This song has been on my mind a lot lately for various reasons. My husband, Greg, and I decided about 2 years ago that I would quit my job, we would travel the world and when we were finished a year later I would hopefully be knocked and carrying our child. It was a fabulous plan that worked up until the getting knocked up part. It seems like that is taking a bit longer than we expected and as a result, I am doing “Too Much of Nothing” these days.

I am being a bit hard on myself though, for the last year and half I have been volunteering several days a week working with at risk children, researching graduate school programs and taking a few classes online to get myself ready. I also have had the wonderful opportunity to hang out with some great friends and play with their fabulous children. Last, we have been doing fertility treatments for the 8 months and that keeps me busier than you would imagine. So, I am doing something. This month we are starting our first IVF cycle and there is a lot to do get ready and keep track of all that needs to be done to be successful. Hopefully, this blog will also occupy some time while keeping family and friends up to date with what we are doing. Below is our infertility journey so far, to catch you up:

8/07 – Married 
12/07 – Quit my job and began traveling
5/08 – Last month of birth control, but not officially trying. We had to make sure I did not get malaria after a trip to Africa, so we used condoms in the meantime. Condoms suck when you are married. . . just so you know. Otherwise, I highly reccomende them.
8/08 – Officially started trying to have a baby
12/08 – Read Taking Charge of Your Fertility and start charting cycles and using a Fertility Monitor to pinpoint ovulation.
2/ 09 – Seek advice from Reproductive Endocrinologist (I am no spring chicken)
Lots of test on Greg and me - Sperm Analysis is good. HSG - a test where they shoot dye up your hoo-ha to see if there are any obstructions. Everything looks good. Lots of lab tests and everything looks good.
3/09 – Since we are no spring chicken we started Letrazole/Femera
4/09 - Letrazole/Femera plus and IUI #1(Intrauterine Insemination aka turkey baster with sperm inserted into my uterus = romantic)
5/09 - Attempted an IUI while doing ultrasounds to track follicle growth. Follicles stalled out meaning they did not get big enough to have a successful result. IUI canceled.
6/09 – IUI #2 with injectables and femara (lots of estrogen given to me as a shot in the abdomen or thigh to help follicles to grow) Follicles get to maturirty.
7/09 – IUI#3 with injectables and femera
8/09 – IUI#4 2 day back to back with injectables and femara
9/09 – IUIs are not working, we decided to move on to IVF. Started birth control pills to begin IVF (InVitro Fertilization – sperm and egg meet in a petri dish)
Full IVF schedule in another post

Besides a few slow growing follicles in May, we do not have a clear reason why this is not happening. However, we have faith that we will be parents with some patience and prayers one day. When it does happen, I am sure that I will love them so much that I will embarrass them on a daily basis. Until then, I am going to enjoy my time doing Too Much of Nothing.

“Too much of nothin' can make a man feel ill at ease
One man's temper might rise, while the other man's temper might freeze.
In the days of long confessions, we can not mock a soul
When there's too much of nothin', no one has control.”

Peter, Paul and Mary

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