- We are in the middle of moving, so things are quite busy. Movers will be here on Monday. Final count down. Only 2 more sleeps until we are in the new house! Yay!
- I am a little "plugged in" and need to go on one of those Oprah spend a day without technology boot camps. Turns out my husband thinks this is a good idea because we currently do not have cable or Internet ready to go at the new house. I have tried to warn him how this may turn out, but I don't think he truly understands that this pregnant lady is going to go nuts when she doesn't get to watch Bethenny Getting Married on Thursday. This should be interesting. So, posts and commenting may be a little sparse for awhile.
- Beside the lack of TV and Internet, I am anxious that most of our furniture will not be delivered until the middle of August. Also, we do not have air conditioning in the new house. So far, we have had a pretty mild summer (Thank you, God). However, August might get a little tough. Women have babies in third world countries all the time in much harsher conditions, so I am sure I will be fine. However, I will still be a bit whiny.
- Scooby has her busy days and her down days. It still makes me nervous on the down days. I got so nervous about it the other day that I went in to get checked. The doctor was very compassionate about the whole thing. She told me not to worry about coming in that I had been through a lot and she wanted me to be comfortable. I have a super compassionaet OB and I am very thankful for that. I am working through the anxiousness aa bit better. Other than BabyWatch 2010 anxiousness, I am feeling pretty good.
I will keep up as much as I can over the next few weeks via my phone. In the meantime, I am going to be working on the two houses a ton and reading to relax. Take care!
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
The New Normal
I have a new obsession. . . I call it BabyWatch 2010. I am obsessed with feeling Scooby move. It has taken over hours of my day. I also freak out if I go too long without feeling or seeing a movement. Scooby thinks my probes, pleads and prayers to get her to move are annoying (I would too.). I know she needs her rest to grow big and strong. I do really try hard to give her the space she needs. I have been working to distract myself by packing for our move and exercising. However, I can't stop thinking about when was the last time I felt her.
Several times on this blog, I have mentioned that infertility has changed me. Up until this point, I have not been able to articulate exactly how it has changed me, but I have felt different. Recently, I realized that the difference is that I have become so much more vulnerable than I have ever been in my life. The 21 months it took to conceive this child and the additional 9 months of her growing inside me have opened me up to a whole new possibility of hurt that I never knew existed. Month after month of wishing and hoping only to be disappointed and hurt, showed me that I have no control over the situation. It did not matter how hard I worked or relaxed about it or read about it, ultimately I could not control how it hurt my heart each month. There was only so much that I could do.
I thought pregnancy would be such a huge relief with less pressure. I thought my nerves would calm at the possibility of a baby at the end of these 9 months. Instead the worry and vulnerability have increased to a whole new level. Pregnancy has brought on all new worries. There are a million useless questions that I have about what is going on or not going on inside my uterus that are not worth mentioning. They are no good except to make me worry. Again, I can stay way from soft cheese, nitrates, booze and caffeine all I want, but there is only so much I can do.
This is a vulnerability that I cannot ignore or run away from or even forget. It is in my face and my only choice is to approach it head on. It is scary and I am frightened on a day to day basis. However, I know she will be worth it and the worry has really only begun. This is my new normal and I am working on how to manage it. I will keep you posted on how that goes.
Several times on this blog, I have mentioned that infertility has changed me. Up until this point, I have not been able to articulate exactly how it has changed me, but I have felt different. Recently, I realized that the difference is that I have become so much more vulnerable than I have ever been in my life. The 21 months it took to conceive this child and the additional 9 months of her growing inside me have opened me up to a whole new possibility of hurt that I never knew existed. Month after month of wishing and hoping only to be disappointed and hurt, showed me that I have no control over the situation. It did not matter how hard I worked or relaxed about it or read about it, ultimately I could not control how it hurt my heart each month. There was only so much that I could do.
I thought pregnancy would be such a huge relief with less pressure. I thought my nerves would calm at the possibility of a baby at the end of these 9 months. Instead the worry and vulnerability have increased to a whole new level. Pregnancy has brought on all new worries. There are a million useless questions that I have about what is going on or not going on inside my uterus that are not worth mentioning. They are no good except to make me worry. Again, I can stay way from soft cheese, nitrates, booze and caffeine all I want, but there is only so much I can do.
This is a vulnerability that I cannot ignore or run away from or even forget. It is in my face and my only choice is to approach it head on. It is scary and I am frightened on a day to day basis. However, I know she will be worth it and the worry has really only begun. This is my new normal and I am working on how to manage it. I will keep you posted on how that goes.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Crazy Lady
Hello, Crazy Lady. Not so nice to meet you. We recently bought patio furniture for our new backyard at Home Depot. Greg saw earlier in the week that the set is now $100 cheaper than what we paid for it a few weeks ago. Because we love to save a buck and we are spending a ton of money right now, I trekked 20 minutes over to the Home Depot to see if we could get a $100 credit. I mosied over to Customer Service. The guy told me he was going to be awhile with the customer he was helping and sent me down to the Contractor desk (clearly, I am not a contractor). One of the guys there asked me what I needed, and I explained to him what I was looking to do. He handed it off to another guy, who told me that I must go back to Customer Service. Then I kind of lost it on the guy. I don't know what came over me, but I just felt like the buck kept being passed around and that everyone else in the store was more important than giving me back my $100. If you knew me in real life, you would know that I am pretty patient and even keeled. Plus, I have worked in service and know what it is like for people to yell and scream. So, this was really out of character for me. I ended up not getting the $100 credit, but that is a whole other story. Turns out it was never $100 cheaper. Thanks for trying though, Crazy Lady.After my Home Depot adventures, I headed to Wendys to get a Strawberry milkshake because all of a sudden the baby really really needed one. I pulled up to the drive through and placed my order. The woman informed me that they do not have strawberry just chocolate and vanilla. At first, I wanted to yell out my car window for everyone in line to hear "Then why do you have a beautiful picture of a strawberry milkshake with whip cream and a cherry on top on your menu tempting a pregnant lady?" Luckily, I was able to control my inner crazy and just told her that I was no longer interested. The good news is that there was a Jack in the Box close by and I was able to get one there. Thank you, Jack for helping out the Crazy Lady.
Now, I think I need to stay home and not talk to anyone until I can get the crazy a little more under control.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Two Two and Two
- First thanks for the advice on the the free stuff. I was able to buy bedding this week and that made a little more in control. If you want to check it out the link is below: http://www.potterybarnkids.com/products/sophie-nursery-bedding/?pkey=bgirls-nursery-bedding
- Today I am 22 weeks and 2 days! It reminds me of the show Love Connection from the 80s, where the host Chuck Wholery would always say, "We will be back in two and two," when the show went to commercial. The fact that I remember that show proves that I am old. It also proves that I have a long long history of watching really crappy TV. Regardless, I am excited to be two two and two. One day at a time, I guess.
- Greg and I are very very frugal. As a result, I have been combing the Seattle area the last few days in search of the perfect drum shade light that will go over our new kitchen table. My problem is that what I want is not within my budget. I will get it figured out. I am determined.
- Little girl is kicking away in there. Today I actually saw a kick for the first time. It was pretty cool.
- I am going to admit, I am one of those people. I have tickets to see Twilight tomorrow. I am glad that the movies are getting further along in the series. Bella really annoyed me at the begining or the book series. Kristin Stewart is the perfect actress to play her because her "I hate being famous", routine gets on my nerves too. I am sure in real life she is a nice person, but I kind of feel like if you don't want to be famous you don't have to be. Just my opinion.
- My doctor scared the crap out of me today by leaving me a message to confirm that everything from my anatomy scan last week looked great. I thought that was fantastic that she took the time to call about it. However, I have always thought doctors call personally if the news is bad, so I was suprised to find she called with good news.
All in all things are going well. I hope everyone else out there is having a good Tuesday!
- Today I am 22 weeks and 2 days! It reminds me of the show Love Connection from the 80s, where the host Chuck Wholery would always say, "We will be back in two and two," when the show went to commercial. The fact that I remember that show proves that I am old. It also proves that I have a long long history of watching really crappy TV. Regardless, I am excited to be two two and two. One day at a time, I guess.
- Greg and I are very very frugal. As a result, I have been combing the Seattle area the last few days in search of the perfect drum shade light that will go over our new kitchen table. My problem is that what I want is not within my budget. I will get it figured out. I am determined.
- Little girl is kicking away in there. Today I actually saw a kick for the first time. It was pretty cool.
- I am going to admit, I am one of those people. I have tickets to see Twilight tomorrow. I am glad that the movies are getting further along in the series. Bella really annoyed me at the begining or the book series. Kristin Stewart is the perfect actress to play her because her "I hate being famous", routine gets on my nerves too. I am sure in real life she is a nice person, but I kind of feel like if you don't want to be famous you don't have to be. Just my opinion.
- My doctor scared the crap out of me today by leaving me a message to confirm that everything from my anatomy scan last week looked great. I thought that was fantastic that she took the time to call about it. However, I have always thought doctors call personally if the news is bad, so I was suprised to find she called with good news.
All in all things are going well. I hope everyone else out there is having a good Tuesday!
Friday, June 25, 2010
Two in One Week!!!
- The last day or so, I am feeling much better. Sometimes I feel like pregnancy feels like constantly being hungover. I know I will feel better, but it just not knowing how long I am going to feel bad.
- I am fairly overwhelmed with our big move. Currently, we have people doing some work on the new house and that is going well. Two weeks ago we had the hardwood floors refinished. Last week electricians came in to add another circuit upstairs so that we can use the washer and dryer connections up there with the air conditioner. They also updated some things that were found during the inspection. The contractor has started some miscellaneous projects in the basement. Today the painter is getting started. We are making progress, but I know we have a long way to go. Packing has me overwhelmed because physically I cannot keep up the same.
- I have gotten out for more walks this week, but need to keep working on it. One walk included a stop at the local ice cream shop. Not sure that one counts. Good effort though.
- I am finally feeling confident enough to research baby gear. I asked one friends (she has two girls) to help me come up with a registry and her answer was that I can have all of her stuff. She even had a bunch of stuff brought to my house without me knowing. Another friend offered a crib and changing table. On top of that, my MIL will buy way way more clothes and things than we need. I am really excited about the stuff and the prospect of spending less money especially considering we are doing more than our fair share of stimulating the economy these days. However, I worked really really hard for this pregnancy and it has not been an easy road since getting pregnant. I want to research, I want to register, and I want to get some of my own stuff. Since I was the second daughter in my own family, I have had a lifetime of hand me downs. I appreciate the free stuff for sure, but I want some of my own stuff too. I am working to figure out a way to balance all this wonderful generosity with my own desire to get ready for this baby myself. I hope I don't sound too ungrateful!!! If anyone has advice, I am open to it.
- I did not get to watch Bethenny Getting Married? last night. After suffering through the lost footage from Real Housewives of New York, Greg had had enough. Bravo has reruns on constantly so I am sure I will get to catch up. The New York cast is my favorite even though they were a little out there this season. Bethenny is also my favorite among them. I love her snarkiness. I really like her new show especially since she is knocked up. I am glad to hear there are other Real Housewives out there that share my obsession!
- Best baby news of the week. We had to go in yesterday for another ultrasound because there were some spine measurements from the anatomy scan that baby girl would not get in position to get. She was more than cooperative this time. Good girl! She was as cute as ever sucking her thumb with her foot in the air. She had the hiccups for a bit too. I am feeling more and more movement as time goes on (hopefully, I didn't just jinx myself). I have found that she likes music. According to some of my reading, she should be able to hear some things now. When I put some earphones on my tummy, she starts moving more. Either she hates it and is trying to tell me to stop or she is dancing. I would like to think she is dancing. Her maternal grandmother and paternal grandfather were both musically inclined, so there is some potential for her as well.
- Two posts in one week! I know the bullets are kind of obnoxious, but they just might work.
Have a great weekend everyone!
- I am fairly overwhelmed with our big move. Currently, we have people doing some work on the new house and that is going well. Two weeks ago we had the hardwood floors refinished. Last week electricians came in to add another circuit upstairs so that we can use the washer and dryer connections up there with the air conditioner. They also updated some things that were found during the inspection. The contractor has started some miscellaneous projects in the basement. Today the painter is getting started. We are making progress, but I know we have a long way to go. Packing has me overwhelmed because physically I cannot keep up the same.
- I have gotten out for more walks this week, but need to keep working on it. One walk included a stop at the local ice cream shop. Not sure that one counts. Good effort though.
- I am finally feeling confident enough to research baby gear. I asked one friends (she has two girls) to help me come up with a registry and her answer was that I can have all of her stuff. She even had a bunch of stuff brought to my house without me knowing. Another friend offered a crib and changing table. On top of that, my MIL will buy way way more clothes and things than we need. I am really excited about the stuff and the prospect of spending less money especially considering we are doing more than our fair share of stimulating the economy these days. However, I worked really really hard for this pregnancy and it has not been an easy road since getting pregnant. I want to research, I want to register, and I want to get some of my own stuff. Since I was the second daughter in my own family, I have had a lifetime of hand me downs. I appreciate the free stuff for sure, but I want some of my own stuff too. I am working to figure out a way to balance all this wonderful generosity with my own desire to get ready for this baby myself. I hope I don't sound too ungrateful!!! If anyone has advice, I am open to it.
- I did not get to watch Bethenny Getting Married? last night. After suffering through the lost footage from Real Housewives of New York, Greg had had enough. Bravo has reruns on constantly so I am sure I will get to catch up. The New York cast is my favorite even though they were a little out there this season. Bethenny is also my favorite among them. I love her snarkiness. I really like her new show especially since she is knocked up. I am glad to hear there are other Real Housewives out there that share my obsession!
- Best baby news of the week. We had to go in yesterday for another ultrasound because there were some spine measurements from the anatomy scan that baby girl would not get in position to get. She was more than cooperative this time. Good girl! She was as cute as ever sucking her thumb with her foot in the air. She had the hiccups for a bit too. I am feeling more and more movement as time goes on (hopefully, I didn't just jinx myself). I have found that she likes music. According to some of my reading, she should be able to hear some things now. When I put some earphones on my tummy, she starts moving more. Either she hates it and is trying to tell me to stop or she is dancing. I would like to think she is dancing. Her maternal grandmother and paternal grandfather were both musically inclined, so there is some potential for her as well.
- Two posts in one week! I know the bullets are kind of obnoxious, but they just might work.
Have a great weekend everyone!
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Bullets
- I am going to apologize for this post and the hopefully several to come that are in bullet form. I have so many posts that are swirling in my head all the time, that I never get out. I am thinking about it too much instead of just doing it. I know when I first started to work out I started small to build the habit and maybe I can do the same with writing. Better to do something than nothing, I guess. So, it is bullets for now.
- I overdid it this weekend and I am paying the price. I helped a friend get ready for her 1 year old's party all day Friday. Then attended the party on Saturday. Sunday we had a party for one of my close friend's 40th birthday at our new house (that we have not moved into yet). All parties were great. However, the Sunday party was a little stressful because it rained a lot and it was an outdoor party because we have not moved in. Plus, we just refinished the floors, so inside was not an option. Luckily, we were able to pull together several tents and built two different fires. Needless to say, it was too much for this pregnant girl. I am not the party girl I used to be and it isn't necessarily the lack of alcohol.
- I woke up Monday with a sore throat and bad headache. However, with a little accupuncture and lots of Vitamin C, I am feeling a bit better.
- Prior to being pregnant, I worked out about 4 or 5 times a week and ate fairly well. Pregnancy has reverted me back to my 18 year old carefree habits. I hardly ever work out and my diet could be better. I am trying, but it is just not happening. I read the other day that she can now taste what I am eating and it will form her preferences. My carefree ways need to change. I am going to put it out there though that I am going to work out at least 3 times this week. I find that if I am more active, I start to make better food choices. I will keep you posted.
- I have been feeling some movement for about two or three weeks. Some days I feel more than others, and I freak out if I think it has been too long. Sometimes I jiggle my stomach to wake her up to move. If I were her, I would be highly annoyed and wouldn't do it just to prove a point to my annoying mother.
- I watched Tori Spelling and Dean McDermont on Ellen DeGenress show today. They were trying to be funny by talking about farting and nipples. Ellen clearly thought they were stupid and it made me laugh.
- Speaking of really bad TV, I cannot stop myself from watching anything and everything Real Housewives. Please, I need an intervention. Maybe I should start working out instead. I don't know, just a thought.
Hope everyone is doing well and I hope to be around a bit more!
- I overdid it this weekend and I am paying the price. I helped a friend get ready for her 1 year old's party all day Friday. Then attended the party on Saturday. Sunday we had a party for one of my close friend's 40th birthday at our new house (that we have not moved into yet). All parties were great. However, the Sunday party was a little stressful because it rained a lot and it was an outdoor party because we have not moved in. Plus, we just refinished the floors, so inside was not an option. Luckily, we were able to pull together several tents and built two different fires. Needless to say, it was too much for this pregnant girl. I am not the party girl I used to be and it isn't necessarily the lack of alcohol.
- I woke up Monday with a sore throat and bad headache. However, with a little accupuncture and lots of Vitamin C, I am feeling a bit better.
- Prior to being pregnant, I worked out about 4 or 5 times a week and ate fairly well. Pregnancy has reverted me back to my 18 year old carefree habits. I hardly ever work out and my diet could be better. I am trying, but it is just not happening. I read the other day that she can now taste what I am eating and it will form her preferences. My carefree ways need to change. I am going to put it out there though that I am going to work out at least 3 times this week. I find that if I am more active, I start to make better food choices. I will keep you posted.
- I have been feeling some movement for about two or three weeks. Some days I feel more than others, and I freak out if I think it has been too long. Sometimes I jiggle my stomach to wake her up to move. If I were her, I would be highly annoyed and wouldn't do it just to prove a point to my annoying mother.
- I watched Tori Spelling and Dean McDermont on Ellen DeGenress show today. They were trying to be funny by talking about farting and nipples. Ellen clearly thought they were stupid and it made me laugh.
- Speaking of really bad TV, I cannot stop myself from watching anything and everything Real Housewives. Please, I need an intervention. Maybe I should start working out instead. I don't know, just a thought.
Hope everyone is doing well and I hope to be around a bit more!
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Anatomy Scan
We had our anatomy scan yesterday, and everything looks good! Brain, heart, kidneys, bladder, arms, legs, spine, and placenta looked good. She had trouble getting one measurment around the neck and spine because the baby would not get in the correct position. Therefore, I am going back in about 2 weeks to try again.
We also found out that we are having a GIRL!!!!! I am really really excited!!! I think Greg is a tad disappointed it is not a boy, but isn't really showing it. I think he will be a really good Dad for a girl. He is so sweet and thoughtful, which all girls need.
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